POET


HUMOROUS POEMS


WHAT'S THE MATTER
© 2004 Jordan Margolis

Oh tell me what's the matter
for we've gone from good to badder
and you know I know you know I don't know why

Something's wrong, what can it be
could it possibly be me?
Most unlikely, not a chance, no-no, not I

Then again, let me reflect
maybe then I will detect
the base base which is the basis for our plight

Now let me see, what did I do
that could stir you to this stew
I can't recall a thing, it must be something trite.

Did I make your eggs to dry?
Did I stain your favorite tie?
No don't tell me, I'll remember soon enough

I don't show enough attention?
I don't ask about your pension?
That's not it? Hmmm, this one's really rough.

I know, I don't show enough support
and as your closest cohort,
I should never stray away from near your side

for you need me to be near,
you shake your head, what is it dear?
Is there something that you're wanting to confide?

Go ahead, I'll listen well,
tell me all there is to tell
whether this or that or even such and such

tell me quickly what's the matter
Why have we gone from good to badder?

It's very simple, YOU TALK TOO GODDAMN MUCH!


HOW DO I LOVE THEE (REVISITED)
© 2004 Jordan Margolis

How do I love thee
Let me count the ways...

I love thee in the normal way
to please the missionary
I love thee in a way
which ain't in any dictionary

I love thee in the native way
they do in Swaziland
I love thee the Parisian way
at least I hope I can-can

I love thee in the Swedish way
I see in every theater
I love thee like 'ol Mark did Cleo
when Caesar didn't meet her

I love thee the Italian way
and don't-a use the pill-a
I love thee in the forest way
layed down by hot Atilla

I love thee in the sailors' way
on land and on the sea
I love thee in the English way
and I don't stop for tea

I love thee in the night
and I love thee in the day
You ask, "How do I love thee?"
Well, let me count the pay!


IN THE PARK
© 2004 Jordan Margolis
You're alone? asked he
You're not now. said she

You're afraid? asked he
You're not frightful. said she

You're pretty. said he
You're hot. said she

You're special. said he
You're different. said she

You're so feminine. said he
You're so masculine. said she

You're mistaken. said SHE
You're under arrest. said HE!


TIME
© 2004 Jordan Margolis
(Read in metronome meter)

Time can fly
Time goes by
Time upon a stitch is sure to save nine

Time is now
Time is then
Time is designed to tell one when

     (one when what?
     what when one?)
Time sure flies when you're having fun!

Time knows all
Only Time will tell
Whether you go to heaven or...purgatory

Time heals wounds
or so it's said
for after Time, bleed becomes bled

     (Bleed bled blood?
     Blood bled bleed?
Except for love, Time is all you need!

There is more to say
There is more to rhyme
I would like to continue but I AINT GOT TIME!